"gradually I've come to realise that my house is haunted by the ghost of a dead astronaut"

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

25. The Witch and the Kind-Hearted Man


"She would look up at the night sky and think: there's Ursa Minor, there's Hercules, there's Andromeda, there's Bootes!"

Once upon a time there was a man, a kind and simple-hearted man, so they said. This man married a tyrannical woman, a despot, an insidious controller. She made his life a misery, almost locked him in a cage of controls, demands and emotional manipulation. The kind-hearted man and the tyrant had two children – a boy and a girl – but the man became increasingly concerned for how their lives were being shaped. As I said, he was simple and kind-hearted and he didn’t care much for how the tyrant treated him, but he loved his children with all his heart and wanted only the best for them.

One day the man decided to question the tyrant, to tell her that her ways were wrong. The tyrant was furious and had a right hissy fit of monumental proportions!

Nobody knew that, secretly, the tyrant was also a witch. Instantly she conceived a spell that fired the kind-hearted man out of the children’s lives, sending his body flying up into the sky, and higher and higher out into the planets. Banished forever. The boy and girl stood and watched and cried. The tyrant simply gathered in her skirts around her and looked about for another kind-hearted man.

The two children schemed to find a way to bring their father back. They drew up plans to build a space rocket to help them carry out a daring rescue mission. But they struggled to secure the considerable funding required for a manned mission to outer space. Hyper-drive had not been invented to allow for speedy exploration of distant worlds, and they were unable to secure planning permission for a launch pad to be constructed in their garden. Also, the girl was asthmatic and they worried about the lack of oxygen in space.

The boy decided to give up the plan. Instead he opted to muck around with Meccano and cover his walls with pictures of Baby Spice and the female lead singer in that band Aqua. The girl, however, never quite gave up the dream.

She would look up at the night sky and think: there's Ursa Minor, there's Hercules, there's Andromeda, there's Bootes!

And, in this way, the family lived dysfunctionally ever after.

Anyway, this is the complete fanciful garbage I like to tell myself about why it was that my dad left, and my brother and I never heard from him again, left instead to fend for ourselves against our aging mother, The Silver Smirker!

It’s a nice story, although it kind of masks all the hatred and fear and frustration that I feel towards that absent man. Yeah, not much room for that kind of sentiment in fairy stories!

6 comments:

Sharon McPherson: AUTHOR / ARTIST said...

Magic! Love it!

Fact mixed with fantasy ... brilliant.

Great blog, by the way. Your profile must be one of the best I've ever read: Hauntings by an astronaut. :)

Kato said...

First off, thank you for checking out my blog, so that I could have the opportunity to come and check out yours.

I loved this post. I love the mystery of it. I look forward to reading more!

Jennifer said...

Thanks for the follow. :) I really appreciate it. :)

Your post was great! :D

The romantic query letter and the happy-ever-after said...

My psychoanalyst friend in New York would love to help you make sense of all this. You need but say the word and I'll make the appointment.

Bumper sticker printing said...

this is great story and my kids loved it when i when i read that to them

David Alexander said...

I am so impressed to read your content. www.domyessayuk.com/help-on-homework